Dee Taylor and Venus
Whether on Earth or in Heaven,
She is Always With Me
Told by Dee Taylor
Written by Laurie Grobman
One thing is clear to Dee Taylor, whose 28-year-old daughter, Venus, was murdered in 2004 by her ex-boyfriend – that she will “hold the torch” for Venus and keep her memory alive. That’s what motivates her to share hers and Venus’s story. Dee is one of the original members of the support group Mothers on Earth, Angels in Heaven. As she explains about the group, “the fact that it happened to us was so terrible, but now we have to hold that torch for our children. We have to keep it going. And that’s why we’re here.”
A flight attendant for United Airlines and living in Georgia, Venus was going through a divorce from her husband and moved in temporarily with her parents in Exeter Township in Reading. While living with her mother, Venus began dating a Reading man, someone Dee knew since he was a little boy. She also knew his mother.
Yet Dee was uncomfortable almost immediately when this man showed signs of being possessive, looking on Venus’s phone to see who she talked to and other “weird” behaviors and signs. Dee’s very sweet dog, Benji, felt it too. One day, when he was at Dee’s home and went to approach Venus, Benji grabbed his ankle. For Dee, “it was like it validated the things I thought.” Dee remembers another evening when he visited Venus at the house. He came into the kitchen and began eating out of the pot. “So I called him Psycho Man.” And Dee felt he was obsessed with Venus.
From Dee’s perspective, Venus kept dating this man because she felt sorry for him. He had a tough childhood, including foster care. Dee was pleased when Venus ended her relationship with him.
And then came that horrible night.
Venus had been out with a friend for the evening. Suddenly, Dee heard screaming outside of her house, and she woke up her husband, Steven Taylor. They saw the ex-boyfriend outside, and Steven went out there and chased him away.
Frightened for her daughter, Dee told Venus she had to “do something right now. You don’t want to tell your brother because your brother will hurt him, which he would have. And then we’d have another thing to deal with.” They decided to go to the courthouse to file a protection from abuse. Heading to the car, Dee realized she’d forgotten her car keys and went inside to get them. The ex-boyfriend “was in the bushes and came out and shot her in the head and shot himself in front of my house.”
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“Venus was the sweetest and she was my baby. She was the baby of the family, a very sensitive kid.” Dee recalls a time when Venus was in grade school, and she came home and went behind the curtain crying. Venus had forgotten her homework and told her mom, “I’m going to get a demerit and I won’t get ice cream.” Lester, Dee’s son, laughed. “But that’s how she was. And we were really, really, really close, really, really close.” To Dee, it was “so ironic that she was with me when [the murder] happened and that she had come back home. She was living in Georgia, and she had come back home, and she was with my other grandchildren.” During that time, Venus, who was a runner, spent time running with the kids. “She got close to everybody in the family, which was ironic again before that happened.”
Dee describes herself after Venus’s death as “a hot mess.” She had suicidal tendencies, so her husband followed her around the house. He didn’t leave her alone. “I said, look, I can’t deal with this. I can’t deal with it. But I guess my spiritual training told me if I commit suicide, I’m going to hell. So I decided not to do it, but I wanted to. So it was a long journey.”
Dee was burdened with guilt on top of her despair. “Why didn’t I take my keys out the door when I went out the door? It probably wouldn’t have happened. I went in to get my purse, and he was hiding in the bushes with a gun. I blamed myself.”
Soon Dee met Deb Andrews because she was married to Dee’s husband’s friend, and Dee knew that Deb had lost her children, 7 and 9, in a fire. Deb was the president and founder of Mothers on Earth, Angels in Heaven, and Dee was the vice-president. Together, they were able to apply for and obtain nonprofit status. Deb got very sick, and they couldn’t meet for a while. When Deb passed away, the group fizzled a bit, but Dee decided to revitalize it.
Dee finds love and support in Mothers on Earth, Angels in Heaven. Just being able to talk to other mothers “who have some of the same feelings and some of the same hurt and some of the same pain” is helpful. People who have lost children don’t really understand, and
they say “stupid stuff,” things like “Well, you have two other children” or “Time will heal.” But with each other, “we were all able to bear our souls without any judgment. We could feel each other’s pain and there were things that we could help each other with as simple as that.”
Dee’s son Lester also helped Dee to cope with the tragic loss of Venus. Her son, a spiritual person, “helped me through it. He helped me through it. I could talk to him about anything, my feelings, and he just helped me through it.” Despite growing up with a father who was a
Deacon in the Presbyterian church for 52 years, Dee “had a bad feeling about religion.” Lester “taught me how to pray with the understanding that religion was made up of people so that’s why there’s so much controversy. But the spiritual side of it is what [my son] gave to me and it helped me in my journey. It doesn’t matter what religion you are or not.” Dee realized that to survive the tragic loss of Venus, she had to get closer to God. Dee is not and never will be “over” losing her daughter, especially in such a violent manner, but she “has gotten through it.”
Lester reminds his mom of the Biblical words, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” Dee feels that she has received blessings, “not because Venus was killed, but through it.” She learned how fragile life is, and she became part of Mothers on Earth, Angels in Heaven. Dee knows that helping other mothers who’ve lost children is an important part of her life.
Dee doesn’t blame God for her daughter’s murder. Dee was angry with God at first, but her son helped her to understand that “God didn’t do it.” Dee believes that people are “free to do good or to do evil. We are free. We can make our own decisions. But we’re not dealing with each other as human beings in a godly way or a spiritual way, and mental illness is not dealt with in this country.”
Adding to Dee’s burden is that she knew the ex-boyfriend’s mother, having raised her children in Reading for part of their lives. Dee was furious with her and relieved when she moved away. However, she returned to the Reading area. Dee ran into her at least two or three times since her daughter was murdered, and one time she asked Dee to be in a play since Dee had also performed in plays. Dee declined. “All I wanted her to say was she was sorry her son did that. She never could say it.” That is very upsetting for Dee.
Dee wants people to be aware of how violence affects families, mothers, fathers, and others. She also thinks it’s “too easy for a teenager to get a gun and shoot somebody” and hopes to see policy changes. But she’s also realistic: “nobody wants to put some clamps on it, some rules, some regulations on it. And until they do, it’s going to keep happening, getting worse and worse. It’s the worship of money as far as I’m concerned.” Even so, what’s clear to Dee is that she doesn’t want to own a gun. “And that’s my right too, because my daughter laid in front of my house, shot in the head by a mentally ill person with a gun.”
Keeping the torch alive for Venus is as important to Dee today as it’s been since the moment Venus was murdered. Dee keeps a painting of Venus in her bedroom next to her vanity. People often tell her to get rid of the painting and other reminders of Venus. But
she’s firm: “I’ll never get rid of that stuff. Venus is my child, and whether on Earth or in Heaven, she is always with me.”