We’ve Got to Go
Told by Jennifer Cabrera
Written by Laurie Grobman
When she was 14 years old, Jennifer Cabrera and her family left their home in Brooklyn, New York to move to Reading. It was 2002, and her parents had grown fearful of the crime and violence in Brooklyn. Jennifer had been accepted into one of New York City’s performing arts schools, and she loved acting and dancing. Losing that opportunity hit her hard. Starting over in a new school in a new city was tough. Reading wasn’t Brooklyn, but there was still violence.
Jennifer started ninth grade at Reading high. Things were pretty quiet back in 2002, and Jennifer was bored. She missed having her many cousins and other family members around since they all stayed in New York.
It wasn’t long before Jennifer began a rebellious streak, sneaking out at night and drinking a lot of alcohol. Soon some of her friends started going to jail. And by the time she was 16, Jennifer’s friends began dying from gun violence. Jennifer remembers the first friend she lost to gun violence. He’d been in the Army, but when he came back home to Reading, he started doing drugs and then things just unraveled: “We moved from New York to get away from violence, but I’m seeing my friends being killed by gun violence here in Reading.”
Learning she was pregnant at 17 changed Jennifer. She realized, “I need to chill because I’m having someone that’s going to depend on me. A lot of my friends were either in jail or dead.” Alexiyani (Lexi) was born in 2006 when Jennifer was 18: “I was really a kid having a kid.”
Jennifer met her daughter’s father, Andre, at a football game when she was in ninth grade, and he was already a high school graduate. His family lived in the suburbs, showing
Jennifer a different way of life. Andre’s grandmother, Areta Fredericks, saw Jennifer’s potential, telling her, “I know that you’re a young mom, but you have to finish. You have to graduate, and you have to at least go to college.” The family helped her through the pregnancy. Jennifer’s parents were limited in what they could provide, but they were loving and generous with their emotional support. Jennifer graduated high school.
Jennifer and Andre lived together in Reading and started building their life together. They moved around the city while Lexi was young, noting that violence was worse in some areas. When Lexi was 4, Jennifer and Andre decided to move to the suburbs. Jennifer’s own experiences told her that the violence in Reading would impact their daughter as she grew up. They wanted a safer life for her, much like Jennifer’s parents did when they moved their children from Brooklyn to Reading in 2002.
Just over a year later, Jennifer and Andre bought a house in Muhlenberg Township with financial support from Andre’s parents. They moved in with their daughter, Lexi, and baby boy, Andre, Jr. However, their hopes for their new life for their family in Muhlenberg were short-lived because the tension and conflicts in their relationship escalated. Jennifer and her children stayed in Muhlenberg, while Andre, Sr. moved back to Reading.
Even so, Lexi was doing great in the Muhlenberg school district, and she loved school. Lexi was always happy to attend school, never giving Jennifer a hard time when it was time to do her schoolwork. The teachers also enjoyed having Lexi at their school.
Unfortunately, living in Muhlenberg became financially out of reach. Jennifer thought about taking a second job but realized her priority was being present for her children. She was so stressed by the situation that Lexi noticed. Jennifer and the children moved in with her mother in Reading. The home was comfortable and had room for all of them.
But the school environment was not good for Lexi, a sixth grader. She was not happy. Lexi was bullied by the other children in her class at Northwest Middle School. They didn’t like that Lexi sounded different, not using the same slang as her new classmates. Lexi conducted herself differently with her teacher. For years, her classmates accused Lexi of thinking she was better than them. They called her the teacher’s pet.
Then the fighting began. Jennifer pleaded with her daughter to stop fighting: “You have to stop. You can’t let people get to you. You’re not doing anything wrong. You need to call me.” The fighting continued. One day, it got to be too much for Jennifer. She pulled up to the school in her car, and without being rude, she loudly shouted, “It needs to stop!”
It did stop, but only because Lexi “joined the pack.” The bullying stopped, but Lexi misbehaved in school. The teachers were calling Jennifer about Lexi’s behavior. Jennifer’s heart broke seeing her daughter change this way, knowing it likely would not have occurred if they’d stayed in Muhlenberg. But Jennifer could not afford to return to Muhlenberg.
Things for Lexi worsened in high school. She was in ninth grade when COVID shut the schools down. She wasn’t logging in and doing her schoolwork. Jennifer wishes she’d have been more on top of it. Lexi had gotten a little less fearful of how her mother would react and was testing her more. Jennifer worried she was losing her daughter. She was fighting and getting suspended.
But it was Lexi, not the school, who informed Jennifer of the suspensions. No one from the school called Jennfer to explain what was happening. Jennifer wasn’t asked to come to the school to find out what had happened and how to help Lexi stay out of trouble. As far as Jennifer knows, Lexi never saw a counselor. Lexi didn’t want to be at Reading High. Jennifer would tell Lexi they would move, but it wasn’t happening because it seemed out of reach for Jennifer.
But then it “hit her”– “we’ve got to go.” Jennifer realized that although she’s a “super involved parent,” Lexi was not happy and not thriving in her school environment: “And I have to do something about it.” Jennifer and her partner knew it was time to save money. He became a trucker to earn more money.
A year later, in October 2022, the family moved out of Reading and into the Schuylkill Valley school district. Andre, Jr. entered 4th grade, and Lexi entered 10th grade.
Even for Andre, who had not experienced the same negative school issues Lexi faced given he was still so young, small differences in his new school still mattered. He adapted well to the increased structure in Schuylkill Valley. The teachers are happy with him. Andre is playing sports and loves it, which makes Jennifer happy since that means less time on his Play Station 5.
Jennifer was surprised when just recently (near the end of 5th grade) Andre told her he wanted to move back to Reading. But in a “heart to heart” with her son, Andre told his mom his grades are lower than in Reading, so she explained to him that “the structure and material is a bit harder so he needs to study a bit more than usual” and is following up with a teacher conference. Jennifer appreciates that Schuylkill Valley schools “challenge students to reach their full capacities.”
For Lexi, the changes are profound. The school isn’t chaotic. There’s no physical fighting. To Jennifer, the small size means the teachers and administrators “really know my daughter. She feels heard and seen.” There’s a great deal of structure in the school day and far less hanging out in hallways, which “helps our kids take accountability of what they’ve done.” There are consequences, but also conversations.
Jennifer doesn’t blame the teachers or the administration at Reading. She knows that with so many kids, the teachers and staff are overwhelmed. For the sake of every child and parent, she hopes change will occur in Reading schools. She feels strongly that her children’s futures are brighter because of their school environment in Schuylkill Valley
High: “I don’t care how much money I pay in rent or how much I have to sacrifice. Seeing how Lexi has turned her life around is worth it.”