I Stepped Up
Told by Jesus Rodriguez
Written by Laurie Grobman
In high school, Jesus Rodriguez got involved with drugs, alcohol, and fighting. He, three younger brothers, and a younger sister were being raised by a single mother. He knows now how hard that was for his mom. But back then, as the oldest kid in the home, Jesus was “rebellious” because he didn’t really have a father figure. He was “looking for a place of belonging in a group” and found it with this group of friends, some who were affiliated with gangs.
That changed when another kid committed a violent act on one of Jesus’s younger brothers, only a young boy at the time. When he told his friends about it, “they turned their backs” on Jesus: “They were like brothers and friends. But they didn’t want to believe me. It scarred me.” Jesus called the cops, but his mother chose not to pursue charges or continue the investigation because she was scared of retaliation. And she was scared for Jesus.
It was a turning point for Jesus: “That’s what really changed my perspective on life. I fell into a deep depression in high school, and I didn’t want to associate myself with anyone.” He became antisocial. But he also realized that he wanted something different than what he was involved with: “I decided to just change the course of my life and really immerse myself in books and listening to music. I wanted to do something more with my life than fight and get into trouble.”
At 17, Jesus ran into a military recruiter three times. By the third time, he thought to himself, “You know what? I think this is my sign to go to the military.” His mother signed the papers. She told him, “I don’t want you to die in the streets. I’d rather you join the military and at least die with some honor serving your country instead of senseless violence.” Jesus joined the military at 17 years old and spent eight years in the Marine Corps.
At first, Jesus was under poor leadership. His supervisor was using his rank to intimidate junior Marines and extorting them out of money, probably to feed gambling and drug problems. But Jesus “chose not to give him money. I never wanted to ‘play the game’ to get promoted. So, I was a little rebellious there.” Jesus became the outcast of the unit. They gave him the “shit jobs.” But he didn’t really mind it: “It got me away from this bad leadership, and I was smart enough to start picking up knowledge from my work and sharpening my skills.” Jesus turned it into an opportunity. He was a telecommunications operator, laying the foundation for telephones, computers, satellites, and more. He obtained certification to operate Mine Resistant Ambush-Protected vehicles (MRAPs). Jesus also learned about leadership: “It changed my perspective on leadership. It helped me to develop myself into who I wanted to be.”
Jesus was deployed to Iraq in 2009 as the United States was beginning to withdraw from the war and little fighting was occurring where Jesus was located. He went with his whole unit, so the bad leadership continued. He saw a lot of suicides: “There was a high rate of suicides among the military. I’ve seen a couple of guys take their life, turning their weapons on themselves, because they couldn’t tolerate the bad leadership and being forced to ‘play the game.’ That really impacted me.” At one time, one of the sergeants began talking to Jesus, and asked him, “Hey, what’s wrong with you? Are you sad?” He started talking to Jesus about insects. But Jesus wasn’t paying much attention to him. Then the sergeant took his own life. That situation also impacted Jesus deeply: “He was trying to reach out to me for help, and I ignored him. From that point, if anybody ever comes to talk to me, like just randomly, I’ll listen. Give them an ear to be heard to prevent that from happening ever again.”
Jesus deployed again in 2010, this time to Afghanistan. He was there for a total of 15 months under good leadership. But being away from his family started weighing on him. He had been helping his mother and family financially, sending money to them, trying to keep his siblings focused on going to college, helping a brother buy his first car.
But Jesus was “sacrificing a lot of being away from my family. My family needed me.” His youngest brother was getting involved in drug use, smoking, and alcohol. His mom was struggling with keeping Jesus’ siblings away from the streets. They needed a male role model. Jesus did what he felt was necessary: “I stepped up.” He left the military and returned to Reading.
Transitioning to civilian life was a bit tough, but Jesus was glad to be home. He was with his family, taking some of the pressure off his mom. He felt relieved that he no longer had to “play the game” in the military. He decided to pursue an education.
But then he got robbed at gunpoint by four people. He was at his cousin’s home for New Years, and then went to his car. Suddenly, “these guys come out of an alleyway with four guns pointed at me. I couldn’t believe it. I served in the military, and I come back to Reading, and four guys have a gun to my head.”
It was a frightening experience. When he told his friends, they betrayed him, as his friends did when he was 16: “I told my friends about being held at gunpoint and all they did was laugh. So I’m like, ‘How’s that laughable, dude?’ It’s not laughable, but they laughed.” Jesus was “done”: “I’m out. I’m just going to be by myself and not trust anybody because I felt like it was probably an inside job. I don’t involve myself with that type of lifestyle.”
Realizing this was his “reality back in Reading,” Jesus became more cautious: “Just every time I step out, I got to look at my peripheral, make sure nobody’s hiding in an alleyway, making sure at least I carry like 20 bucks in my pocket or something just so they can grab it and then run away.” He is careful about the neighborhoods he goes to. Jesus feels sad about it: “I was in the military. I served my country. And then there’s this violence in Reading.” He wants people to realize that the streets lifestyle is glorified because it’s easy money, but it has serious consequences: “There’s going to be death around you. There’s going to be robberies around you. There’s going to be jail around you.” ~~~~
Despite the terrifying experience of being robbed at gunpoint, Jesus followed through on his plan to get an education. He enrolled at Penn State Berks. His military tours overseas led him to pursue Global Studies. A Communication Arts and Sciences class with Dr. Michele Ramsey confirmed that decision:
“It was about the media and how it’s structured. I just loved it because there was a point where I was questioning the war myself when I was overseas and just reading up on how certain key players played a role in the legislative branch to declare war overseas. I was like, ‘Oh, we’re over here because of the oil and natural resources.
And it was built on lies. And then I took that course and I understood how the US government “sold” the war to the public with propaganda techniques. And I was like, ‘Wow.’”
Jesus took a leave from college after his son was born to support him. He’d been working several jobs and got tired of working three jobs at a time. He also didn’t like being micromanaged by his boss. Jesus decided to focus on school to find a good career to put his knowledge and skills to work. He started back at Penn State Berks in the 2023-2024 academic year, and he plans to graduate sometime next year.
Jesus’ siblings are doing very well. His younger brother changed his way of life after he had a daughter, deciding to start working, being more responsible, and providing for his own family. His brothers have each pursued education and work in medicine, business, and psychology. When his sister told him she wanted to join the Marine Corps, Jesus replied, “No, you’re not. You’re going to school, and I will help you get through it.” She is a Penn State graduate. Jesus feels good that he “helped them out as best as I could.”
Jesus’s son is 10 years old. Jesus tries to “be his best around him” and is the father he’d never had: “I try to teach him a lot of things because I know about who’s a good friend and who’s not, and who’s going to get you in trouble.” His son is in fourth grade and is a good kid. His life has been filled with love and the joys of childhood.
Until very recently. Jesus’s son was outside playing with his friends when the shooting started. He was in the middle of the crossfire. None of the kids were hurt. But his son told Jesus that he was face-to-face with one of the shooters, and they looked at each other for a little bit. His son was very scared. Jesus was “real angry because that’s just reckless. He was playing right there with his friends. And all of a sudden, there’s a shootout in the middle of the street, like one side of the street, and then the other side, and the kids are there, and they decide to shoot guns.” It was seven or eight shell casings just two or three houses away from their home. Cars got hit. “It was bad.”
Jesus’s son was outwardly traumatized for a few days but is doing better. The shooters missed, and no one was hurt. But Jesus is paying careful attention to his son to look for signs of trauma.
The shooting gave Jesus pause about staying in Reading: “It’s hard when people don’t see the value in your neighborhood. They’d rather just continue that spiral of violence, they just don’t see the value in life in general, so it’s pretty hard.” But Jesus also wants to be involved in change in Reading. He intends to go to law school. He believes too many politicians put band-aids over the issues instead of going after the deep-rooted causes of the problem: “Because it’s a poverty stricken neighborhood. The social capital there is really going to lead to violence such as robbery, drug use, drug sales, selling, or any type of crime that fills in because there’s no employment in the neighborhood.”
Jesus also sees himself as a mentor to young people in Reading: “I know there’s people that don’t want to be in that lifestyle, but don’t have a positive influence or someone who has the skills to help them out, offer the resources, or help them get the skills they need to move away from that lifestyle.” He wants youth and young adults to realize that they need to “gain as much knowledge as you can about yourself and the world around you and understand it”–just as he started doing at 16 years old. His message to Reading’s young people is to “Develop yourself. This will help you to get out of situations you want to get out of. Value yourself and others.”